Welcome to Coriolistic Anachronisms

If this were any other time in history, I’d probably be laughing out loud. I can hear the world’s patronizing snort: « Them Canadians are throwing a fit again, eh? Who cares, they never pass 0.5 on the Richter scale anyway. It’s refreshing to be able to watch a political struggle with no consequence to us. It’s like watching a soap opera. »

But. This is now and we are in the midst of an extreme - and global - economic crisis. My sense of humor is running low. Canadian bankruptcies have increased by 20% compared to last year. Meanwhile, a touch south of the border - where all the financial trouble began, spreading across the globe like an unstoppable virus - giants steps are being taken, drastic measures considered and a new leadership has been installed.

This is a wave we, as a neighboring country, cannot afford to miss. We must ride it like crazy or sink. Later will be too late. There might be a false sense of calm while we wobble in the trough but soon the next wave will come and then we’ll drown.

But while the water level drops and the crest approaches fast, gathering momentum and building itself a white dress of foam, our own ridiculous politicians fight amongst themselves, making our country look like a beheaded chicken that manages a few steps before hitting a wall.

The complete lack of character of our leaders reminds me of puppets in the wind. And they fight like girls!^* No direct hits here, no closed fists, no kicks to the head nor karate stance, no balance nor confidence. They thrash at each other feebly with open hands, achieving the mere power of weak slaps, hoping for their nails to bite a lip or destroy the opponent’s make-up, pulling hair as their rings get stuck in it, hissing and spitting, out of control and out of place.

A little back, Dion lost a very humiliating election (it was deserved as he clearly doesn’t have what it takes to run a country.) His party decided to get rid of him fast. But now he is campaigning wildly with the coalition to try and fuck us up some more. We don’t need a country divided, where losers can turn around and claim revenge just like that. When you lose, you lose. Then you stick to fair play. Not that the current puppet is any better. That’s our problem. We need new blood. Fast. Harper just seems like the lesser of two weevils.

In the meantime, our Governor General temporarily halted the frenzy. Kudos to her. The pressure must have been tremendous. Let’s hope Canadians - puppets and puppeteers - will enjoy the holidays, relax and come to their senses.

Yeah, I know, I’m the the world’s worse political analyst. And proud of it, too!

^* No offense to you girls, I’m just referring to the cliché.

 Posted at 2:26 PM in Schtroumpfissime: