To Marie,

New York is like a deep dive, dangerous, intense, shifted, addictive. She feels dark and opaque as I drop down, temporarily alone and immobile, on my  way towards deeper illusive goals and strange chimeras. Blood starts rushing to my head and I fight off heat narcosis in a frantic struggle to remain in control. She requires ultimate commitment, lots of training, a solid dose of faith, and self-assurance pushed past arrogance. And every night, when retiring to the boat-like comfort of a home, to a cold drink and a loving presence, I force New York to let go of her steel grip and realize with a sigh while decompressing, I survived another one.

Yet with patience and curiosity, after slowing down and shining my camera around, looking carefully and following your lead, gems are revealed – green oasis and eerie sights and symbiotic relationships that keep the city alive. She abounds with life and turns out to be ever-changing,  moody and incredibly complex. Like innumerable generations of coral polyps building upon a calciferous skeleton, people construct their world in all directions and the city grows inwards and out, feeding on itself in a frenzy of hurried expansion, a beautiful and ferocious urban orgy. The spectacle is hypnotizing.

The trick, as with any deep dive, is to know when to stop. There is a point of no return and it seems to lie just beyond the halo of my understanding of today. I’ll keep diving into the city, deeper and deeper, until I feel like I safely belong at depth, while never losing sight of the surface and watching my bubbles lead up – as always – towards the sun and fresh air and you.

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“And we sweat, and it’s sweet
And we breathe like machines
And we play, and we pray ’til we find hidden sins
And we crash, and we burn every moment in turn
Everything you have learned to forget will return
You will leave on your knees
You will cry, I will please
Combustible tears, destructible fears
And we crash and we burn every moment in turn
Everything you have learned to forget will return. Alright!”

Ghinzu – The Dragster Wave

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